Busy Bee

Life has been so-so these past few weeks. Busy but not yet busy like a bee. The real busy starts when August kicks in, which is only a few days away. Dang! And fasting month also starting in a few days! Wondering how I'm supposed to conserve my energy while fasting when I got so many things to do.

Been signing up and volunteering for many events and charities. I decided a few months back that I gotta change my life and stop being such a lazy ass, thus, I'm drowning myself in events instead. But I don't mind really. It's time that I socialize myself with the world outside.

August: Completing 2 major projects. Attend JSXP Training Camp. Study like a witty insolent. Volunteer for L.I.F.E-ly Kidz Event. Fasting month.

September: Volunteer for food drive. Volunteer for JSXP for 2 weeks. Find work. Hari Raya.

October: Temporary work like there's no tomorrow. Volunteer for any charity events available.

That's how it goes. My free time are mainly set aside for studying, major projects, volunteering and working my ass off. I couldn't even think that I might have much time to go out with old friends since I'll be royally tired beyond comprehension. I need go buy Berroca soon to give me that extra energy boost to last for the next 3 busy months.

I think I get so busy most days that I would find myself multi-tasking like a boss. Eat and completing whatever important work there is. Either that or I thoroughly skip meals. Uh huh, I skip meals but not intentionally.

I HAVE TO SURVIVE THIS. Because I want to.

Weekend Madness!

WAGASHI: Japanese confectioneries

Can't really wait for Wagashi Day in Temasek Polytechnic this Saturday. Very limited seats available and I thank God that I got the morning session. Well, seems like we're going to make some wagashi accompanied by the Japanese way of appreciating tea. Like so cool.

I mean, I finally get to experience some Japanese culture here in Singapore before the Japanese Student Exchange Programme takes place at the end of September. Oh, I haven't told you yet, have I? I decided to volunteer to be a buddy when those Japanese students come over from 19 Sept to 1 Oct. I really, really hope I get to get myself a penpal after that. That'll just be the most awesome thing I've ever done in my 17 years of life. Just kidding, that's like so exaggerating.

But anyways, I'll be so freaking busy starting 16 July onwards. So, pardon me if I keep rejecting any invitation for a meet-up or outing. I can't seem to put my priorities right at this time.

Busy bitch needs her 2011 Planner book or she's as good as a failed lady.

At least I'm lucky enough my other 5 bitches are postponing our awesome baking session till next weekend. Yeah, I'm looking forward to baking with these girls and having so much fun and laughter together.

Saturday: Wagashi Day -> Vivocity -> Changi Airport -> Mustapha Centre

Sunday: Study whole day -> Do some Real Estate Business project -> Go out with family

I'll be tired and I might sleep like a log. So, good luck in trying to contact me in anyway you can think of.

Me, Rachel, Wan Hua, Aqidah, Meredith, TseFang.

We are forever the 6 girls skipping lectures. <3

Contradictory Week

I really don't know whether to call this week awesome or nonsense, but obviously it's not within those two. I wanted to call it awesome because I'm ending the week with cool things to do, like attending Wagashi Day this Saturday, but at the same time the week just happen to end in a nonsensical way by itself. Why? Well, my phone started to bitch again and this time, its bitchy side has crossed the limits and I can't accept that.

I'm not going to blame anyone about why the phone is like that. Because it's quite obvious that Nokia phones are getting lousier by the years. Shame on you.

Real Estate Business project has also been sucking up most of my time and there's like a string of tests coming up next week. I'm as good as dead.

I need my vacation. I need to find some work to sustain my growing spending power too.

Life has been hard but I'm trying my best to live on.

What's with teachers and the male species? They're been telling me to smile more. Okay, I don't smile much but I'm not an emo kid. I mean, I only smile when I'm comfortable around the people I'm comfortable with. I don't smile freely and hey, are they saying they want to see my smile?

 Heh. Little did they know that my smile can be a killer smile if I give out too much of it.

Just kidding.

Anyways, the male species are more pressing about this matter. Seriously? Them? Want to see me smile more?

Are you trying to hit on me? Pfft. Wait long, long!

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder but too much absence makes the heart find another."

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to the librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it."

The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"


(Get it? Get it? Dumb blonde joke!)

She's been hurt but she's stronger; lied to and now she's smarter; with heartbreak comes wisdom & now she refuses to settle.

(Sounds kinda like me, no?)

MY SHORTEST BLOG POST.

Oh the loveliness of school nowadays, with its merciless onslaught of projects, assignments and tests. Everything is very rushing and tiring, and I swear this is the main cause of my dwindling social life.


Dwindling? Hell yeah! Count how many invitations for outings I've rejected over the past 15 weeks. Don't think my mere 10 fingers could fit all that.
Because I need to rest and my Mom isn't giving me her permission to relish my youth, I fear that one day, these invitations will dwindle as well because no one will care to invite someone who won't be able to make it. That's what I used to fear...


But I thank God for those understanding friends who never give up in trying to get me out of the house to have fun with people of the same age. I'm just sorry that their efforts have been put to waste.
I know planning an outing isn't that easy nowadays, with people getting a little too busy with their lives and there will surely be clash of plannings.


However, like the saying goes: "We plan, God willings it."


I can't do anything about it, especially my life and its plans...


I just have to prepare to say this then. Hello, I'm Miss Zero-Social-Life.
Oh, bummer!

Fade to Black

It has been awhile, hasn't it? Since I last publish any decent post that doesn't involve anything about quotes, songs or dedication. It's quite awkward typing like this again, after going through weeks of tiresome routine. Yes, it has indeed been some tiring and mentally straining weeks of school (and term break that doesn't even act like one) for me, especially me. I'm at my breaking point now, as we speak...

Surely, those going through the same thing as me can cope and will say that I, too, can cope just like them.

But they know nothing.

Nothing of the fact that I'm facing a problem with my memory frames.

Here's the thing: I will forget any memory of past events or future plans (besides forgetting names, which I think is quite normal for idiots) if I ever stressed myself too much or mentally draining myself near to nothing.

It's a pain really, even when some would say that it'll be a good thing if I ever were to wish to delete those bad or hurtful memories. Of course I'll easily forget those type of memories...

But what of those good, sweet memories that I wish to hold on to?

They've fade away along with the ugly ones.

Just so you know, I don't remember anything that happened way before a year ago unless someone prompt some things into my brain. And worst still, I tend to not remember what I did or eat on previous days.

All that's left is an empty vessel that awaits to be filled before it empties itself. This cycle repeats itself.

And it seems that I will only think about completing a task, nothing else.

Triggers that I happened to observe:

- I get less than 4 hours of sleep

- I turn into an expressionless and cold-hearted bitch

- I look ill even though I'm not

- I snap at everyone, regardless of race, nationality, ranks or gender.

- I'll say this: "It's like I left my soul on my bed while only my body and brain is moving by itself."

- I'm too tired to care about anything irrelevant

- No one matters to me

- I'm suppressing whatever energy I have left to last through the day

I was still fine in school... Until I was on the way back home.

-Memories deleted-

Don't bother helping.

I can't be fixed.

Can I?

Just to be on the safe side, I'd like to apologize to whoever became/becomes the victim of my random whiplash of harsh words. Also, do forgive humble me if I don't remember you at all even if we just met a few weeks ago.

Dare I call it; Retrograde Amnesia (Impaired ability to recall past events and previously familiar information)

"Most people with amnestic syndrome have problems with short-term memory — they can't retain new information. Many also have some degree of impaired memory recall. Recent memories are most likely to be lost, while more remote or deeply ingrained memories may be spared. Someone may recall experiences from childhood or know the names of past presidents, but not be able to name the current president or remember what month it is or what was for breakfast.

The memory loss doesn't affect a person's intelligence, general knowledge, awareness, attention span, judgment, personality or identity. People with amnestic syndrome usually can understand written and spoken words and can learn skills such as bike riding or piano playing. They may also understand that they have a memory disorder.

Amnesia isn't the same as dementia. Dementia often includes memory loss, but it also involves other significant cognitive problems that lead to a decline in the ability to carry out daily activities. A pattern of forgetfulness is also a common symptom of mild cognitive impairment (MCI), but the memory and other cognitive problems in MCI aren't as severe as those experienced in dementia." -Mayo Clinic

So don't be mistaken. If I'm good at memorizing for examinations, it's not solely from my memory, but from my understanding of what I'm reading.

I'm so fucking screwed up, aren't I?